Innocence and Playdoh

I had such a wicked day today. Who doesn't love Fridays? It is amazing how you can work hard all week and still have energy. I love my job, I really truly love my job! Today, I was full of pride as we had a staff meeting with all our new team members. I tried hard not to be giddy with excitement while we were planning ALIVE's next marketing and publicity campaign. Everyone left the meeting pumped and ready to take on the world. I love my job.

I am so glad I ended my week on such a positive note. It was so close to being devastated by a sweet, adorable, 6 year old playdate with a cute English accent. Yes, this little boy, so full of innocence, almost ruined my week. You ask HOW? Well, let me tell you! I had helped set up the playmates at the kitchen table to play with Playdoh while I started dinner. Socializing at such a young age is always amusing to listen to. Until the young lad asked my daughter "Why don't you exercise?". Abby replied, "We do." To the young lad answered "No you don't, you are fat. And so is your Mom." I can't remember how fast my head turned, maybe because my jaw was on the floor! I thought breathe, this is only a kid, a very innocent kid that doesn't know any better. Kids tell you how it is. That doesn't mean you have to like it. And I didn't like it. I wanted to tell him to go home, but since I had to drive him, that wasn't going to work. I could of let him know that what he said are hurtful words to friends but not my job to parent him. I bit my lip and let my daughter work it out with him.

I talked about it with Abby after the playdate was over. It was not an easy conversation. The problem was that MY feelings were actually hurt too. Can you believe that I let a 6 year old hurt my feelings. It is not that I feel FAT, I see fat on my body. It is the image that is hard to get around. We are bombarded with images of skinny, skinny, skinny and no happy medium. If you have ever carried weight, there is always an insinuation that you should lose weight. No one EVER says the words "you are fat". Instead we hear things like, the boot cut is more flattering for your curves (your hips are huge), your girls look great in that top(so I don't notice your spare tire), this babydoll shirt is better suited to your shape (look, no muffin top). My heart also ached for Abby, she is built like Momma and she will have some years of battle ahead of her. We eat well but she does need more exercise. She is always tagging along Jayla's soccer games and practices, never has any of her own.

I feel like a horrible parent, I am the role model and all they see is a FAT Mommy. I always tell the girls to love themselves. They don't have self esteem issues, not with a dad like Ben! I just want to make sure that they don't end up like Mommy and never take care of themselves. It has motivated me more to take action. I got on that treadmill this morning with a vengeance and was disappointed I had to get off and go to work! I will not let a 6 year old break me, I will power through like it never happened. But it did and it will always ring in the back of my mind. I lost another pound though, I am almost 160. When I hit 158, I will have a little party for myself. Hmmm, not food, something else. Any ideas?